A new year has started. Many of us will have a long list of new year resolutions that we will abandon before the month is over. Why is that one might ask? Why can’t most of us stick to the plan we set for ourselves?
What are the experts saying?
A psychotherapist Mr. Alpert, author of the book “Be fearless, change your life in 28 days” identifies three main reasons people’ s new year’s resolutions end up in disappointment.
First, the resolutions are too vague. He proposes to make the resolution detailed and specific. For example, instead of saying you want to read more, start by picking a book that interests you and set a goal to read two pages a day.
Second, the resolutions are framed negatively. He said, the way we talk to ourselves impact our actions. Do not say to yourself, you should be restricted to eat certain foods. Instead say that you want an apple in the morning.
Lastly, the resolutions are not specific to the person doing them. He encourages people to set goals that are relevant to them. The trends that you see on TV might look enticing, but it might not be exactly what you want to achieve now. Set goals that are important to you then it will be easier to achieve them.
New year resolutions are a good thing.
I happen to think that new year resolutions are helpful. However, as noted by Mr. Alpert above, they must be tailored to what one wants to achieve. Therefore, you must really want to make that change. And like I always say, everything starts with a decision. Decide what you really want for yourself. Understand why you want to reach that goal, make that change then commit yourself to it.
Building Systems.
As for me, I do not do yearly resolutions. Don’t get me wrong, I find them to be useful. I just don’t think they serve my needs. Personally, I don’t find it particularly necessary for me to set new goals every year. Instead, I aim at making slow, sustainable changes in my life. I have been on a journey to improve myself for a while now. Therefore, I choose to build systems rather than to set goals.
Goals v. Systems.
What is the difference between goals and systems? A goal is a result that you want to achieve. Whereas, a system is the process that leads to those results. Goals are focus on the destination. Systems are embracing the journey. Goals are great at setting direction but to achieve lasting progress, systems are more powerful.
Therefore, I do have goals but I shift my focus on the process by which I achieve those goals. Thus, I commit myself toward endless refinement.
Systems are a win always.
Even if one only focus on their systems they can still produce great results. For example, if you decide you want to run a marathon-that is your goal. However, if you completely ignore that goal and focus on training five times a week for example. You will still achieve your results because you focus on the training which is the process that will help you run the marathon.
Systems-based thinking is never about hitting a particular number, it’s about sticking to the plan and not missing the training. That way, you don’t chase immediate results and you will not see yourself as failure for not achieving that instant outcome.
Lately, I have been focusing on building good habits just for the sake of having them. I feel I become more fulfilled and happy when I do them. To help remain consistent with my systems, I identify what is essential to me and I spend a great deal of time on that.
And you, tell me on the comments, whether you set yearly resolutions or do you build systems like me? I am curious to know what you guys do to accomplish your goals.
Happy New year and enjoy this year’s journey.
Until next time,
XoXo, JP
New Years resolutions have never worked for me. I’m just beginning to understand myself better and the systems which work best for me. Trying new things and letting go of [thinking] habits that no longer serve me has been a good constant practice.
Yes, they are not effective for most people. Understanding oneself is the key for growth. I applaud you for going through that journey.