As a Haitian woman living in the United States, International Women’s Day is both a celebration and a call to reflection. It reminds us of the progress made toward gender equality while also highlighting the unique challenges that Black women continue to face. Society often expects us to endure, accept, and carry the weight of the world, offering comfort to others while neglecting our own needs. But who comforts us? Who is gentle with us? It’s imperative that we learn to be gentle with ourselves, creating spaces where we can be vulnerable and prioritize self-care.
The Unseen Burden of Black Women
Black women are frequently expected to lead the charge for change, bearing the brunt of a brutal world. Our humanity and femininity are often overlooked simply because we vocalize the injustices we witness. This societal oversight robs us of the softness and care we inherently deserve. The time has come for us to rest, to enjoy life, to let go, and to create spaces where vulnerability is welcomed. We must also appreciate those who sincerely strive to create these spaces for us, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable yet remaining vigilant.
The Necessity of Self-Care and Rest
Learning to care for ourselves as diligently as we care for others is crucial. We must believe that we are deserving of love, care, and gentleness because we are divine beings. Despite being among the most marginalized, we continue to exhibit unparalleled compassion. Black women, when will we understand that we deserve the world?
Heeding my own advice, I am unlearning the compulsion to save everyone and the need to do everything on my own. I am embracing rest as a necessity. For some time now, I have felt an overwhelming exhaustion, both physically and emotionally. You may wonder why. The answer lies in a lifetime of relentless hard work and the emotional toll of being deeply connected to my Haitian heritage.
The Emotional Toll of Diaspora
As a Haitian descendant with family spread across the country, particularly in Port-au-Prince, any news of gang violence or massacres puts me on high alert. I often refuse to entertain the thought that something might happen to them. The reality of being an immigrant includes the guilt of escaping a dire situation while leaving loved ones behind. All the while, we are expected to function fully in a world that neither understands nor acknowledges this reality.
Societal Expectations and the Strong Black Woman Myth
As women, we are conditioned to show up no matter what. As Black women, the world often lacks empathy for our pain. Our tears do not move them; they turn a blind eye to our suffering. We are always expected to carry on, to accept, and to endure. I have been conditioned to believe this, but I am making a conscious effort to unlearn this behavior. Such ingrained expectations can wreak havoc on our minds and bodies, a reality I am currently experiencing.
Redefining Strength Through Rest
Rest is sacred. Rest is important and necessary. I am learning not to feel guilty for taking time for myself. I am learning to be unapologetic in prioritizing my well-being. As Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry, emphasizes, rest for Black women is a radical act. Embracing rest challenges the societal norms that have long dictated our worth and productivity.
Creating Safe Spaces for Vulnerability
It’s essential to create and seek out safe spaces where we can express vulnerability without judgment. Engaging in communities that understand and share our experiences can provide the support we need. These spaces allow us to process our emotions, share our stories, and uplift one another.
The Power of Saying No
Part of self-care involves setting boundaries and recognizing that it’s okay to say no. We don’t have to shoulder every burden or fight every battle. Prioritizing our mental and emotional health means acknowledging our limits and not overextending ourselves.
Embracing Joy and Celebrating Ourselves
Amidst the struggles, it’s vital to find moments of joy and celebration. Engaging in activities that bring happiness, surrounding ourselves with loved ones, and honoring our achievements, no matter how small, can rejuvenate our spirits.
Conclusion
As Black women, we are deserving of love, care, and gentleness. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and embracing rest, we can begin to heal from the burdens we’ve carried for too long. Let this day serve as a reminder not only of our resilience but also of our right to softness and self-compassion.
Until next time,
Xoxo,
JPP
