How I got Myself out of a Funk

I hit a roadblock. I felt unmotivated to write anything lately. To do anything really. There were so many great occasions to write something thoughtful about what is happening in the world or in my life. However, I just could not do it. I was in a funk.

Maybe, it is exhaustion.

Exhaustion from being busy. But busy doing what? Do you ever feel like you are working so hard and doing nothing simultaneously? It is not that your goals are no longer important, and you do not stop working to achieve them, but your mind is just…preoccupied. You get distracted easily. It takes so much energy to remain focus and you just cannot find your flow.

Or is it plain old anxiety.

I am sure everyone is going through something, especially after a year like 2020. I do not pity myself or think I am unique in my struggles. But when life hit you hard back-to-back, it is tough to recover quickly when you do not have the chance to process your emotions in the first place. You just go through the motions, find a solution without thinking about the enormity of the problems you are confronted with.

Maybe, it is nameless.

Sometimes, it is difficult to even name what it is that you are feeling. It is frustrating. And it is especially hard for someone like me who is from the islands where you are conditioned to believe “if you can eat everyday and have a roof over your head, you do not have a problem”. You feel ashamed for feeling this way. Guilty even, because so many people have bigger issues, so how can you indulge yourself into feeling the blue?

…. But to that I say, we are only human. Our problems matter, our feelings are valid no matter how insignificant they may seem.

I am not one to compare my life with others. I never have. However, I am my harshest critic. To help myself from getting out of this funk, I tried a few strategies that have been preventing me from sinking further into this pit.

Being kind to myself.

 I have been practicing self- compassion. I am realistic when it comes to my flaws, but I do not allow them to make me feel unworthy. If I fail at something, I may be down for a short while. Then, I evaluate myself, and I find ways to improve where I am lacking.

Words are powerful.

They shape our lives, create our world. I am learning to use words that build me up instead of tearing me down. I am not saying to take yourself so seriously that you cannot take a joke. However, the way we talk about ourselves can be so toxic that we do not realize how damaging it can be to our self-esteem. I learned not to be demeaning to myself. People close to me, particularly, my best friends always call me out when I do this. I call them out too lol. We keep each other accountable.

Support system.

Talking about people around me. I do have a good support system. I have those go-to people in my life that cheer me up whenever I feel down. Often, they are not even aware of how much they have helped me, but just having a conversation with them cheer me up in ways they will not even understand. These people are the true jewels of my life.

Putting myself first.

 I am learning to prioritize myself. I think, putting others ahead of oneself stems from culture. Where I am from, women especially do not think about themselves. It is not a matter of hating yourself.  You are expected to care for others and to give of yourself without thinking about your own needs. Those traits are praised and encouraged. To do the contrary is to be selfish. I grew up with that frame of thought.

REFRAMING THE MINDSET.

The problem with that thinking is that you stretch yourself so much that the concept of your own individuality gets easily lost. And when you have nothing left to give, you feel you have no purpose. Well, I am rebelling against that mindset. To prioritize myself and fulfill my needs are my first job. It may sound contradictory, but to care for myself is to be able to give in a place of inner abundance. What I mean is that if you are empty inside, you will have nothing else to give but resentment. Of course, I will not stop caring, but I will no longer feel guilty for choosing my own happiness and pursue whatever it is to achieve just that.

Getting better.

Slowly, I have been feeling like my old self again. I take it one day at a time, and most of all I am learning to be patient with myself during this process.

In addition to those tips mentioned above, exercising, eating healthy, sleeping well and being grateful are effective at keeping one motivated. However, if you remain apathetic to the point that it affects your daily functioning, you should seek professional help. It may be the signs of something more serious.

And you, what have helped you get out of a slump? Please leave a comment below. I am curious to know what you guys do to get yourself out of a funk.

Until then,

Xoxo, JP