The Unexpected Life Lessons Learned from Dancing.

I started with dancing ballet last August. A bit random you might say but, actually, I was introduced to ballet when I was a little girl back in Haiti. I do not remember how many ballet classes I have had. I know it was a very brief period of my life. Nevertheless, the rigorous beauty of ballet blew me away and I have always thought of going back. I am glad I did, because I will share with you the unexpected life lessons learned from dancing ballet.

The words of my ballet teacher.

My ballet teacher is a petite woman, probably five foot four. But you would never notice her height because she commands the room once she enters it. One thing she always says in class that stuck with me  is to “always be you, don’t try to fit like everyone else. You are beautiful and unique, so spread your beautiful wings and soar. Don’t worry about anybody else.” Here, through her words, the unexpected life lessons learned from dancing is to embrace my uniqueness.

Playing it small.

For some reasons, I kept thinking about these words every day. And I have come to realize in many areas of our lives, a lot of us shrink ourselves to fit in. We enter a room and immediately we dim our lights to accommodate others. We allow them to spread their wings even when they trample our own. Why do we do that? Why do we become small in certain situations? Is it for acceptance?

There should not be any reasons why some flowers should shrivel for others to bloom. There is enough space for all flowers to thrive. All flowers have unique beauty. And what a wonderful sight that is when all of them flourish together. Another unexpected lesson learned from dancing is to take up space, don’t shrink to accommodate anyone.

Perhaps, is it miseducation?

Maybe, it has to do with our upbringing. Especially women are taught to be modest. In that context, modesty is exercising restraint in appearance and not willing to flaunt ourselves.  Whereas, humility which is used interchangeably with modesty- is the deeper understanding of the human condition and the realization that no one is any better than the other person.

There is nothing wrong with comporting oneself in a humble and modest way. These traits are admirable. Although, one might say that modesty can be very superficial, but that is for another blog post. However, a misunderstanding of these concepts leads women mostly, into brushing all of their accomplishments, mainly the professional ones, under the rug. They give out their power to everyone around them and are left with nothing but broken wings.

We shrink to toxic people who demand we respect their position, we shrink to situations and relationships, hoping that they remain the same. We shrink to other women to appear less threatening. We shrink in the workplace to not be labeled as bossy, we shrink to our lovers wishing for them to stay. Have you ever shrunk to prevent from losing someone or a group of people? And how did that make you feel? After a while, it becomes exhausting to constantly keep your heads down. Doesn’t it?  Nevertheless, some of us shrink ourselves for a very long time until circumstances push us to the curve and force us to look up and move on.

Soar like an eagle.

It is daunting to take up space when we have been taught all our lives- implicitly or explicitly- to be small. But, we are not meant to be insignificant. We are meant to grow, to expand and to fully spread our wings. And our tribe, our community should nourish that growth seed. Growth does not necessarily translate into boasting ourselves. It definitely does not mean that we regard others as beneath us. In the contrary, we should encourage each other to develop our unique skills, learn from each other so that we can reach our greatest potential no matter what it looks like.

This is the environment I have found in my ballet class; a group of women and men, with different skill levels spreading their wings while empowering others less skillful to do the same.

For a sport that appears to emphasize uniformity, ballet dancing, surprisingly taught me that my uniqueness is something to be embraced. Although, the movements are similar, I do not need to hold in my relevé to be the same height as others. Likewise, I do not need to morph into something or someone I am not for acceptance and respect, regardless of how strange it might look to someone else.

In all areas of my life, I intend to find or create inviting environments like my ballet class. And like an eagle, I want to soar. I hope you do the same.

Until next time.

Xoxo, Jp